Coping Holiday Tips For Single Christian Women-Updated

Christmas, New Year's Day, and Valentine's holiday cheers can bring many single Christians to holiday tears. The truth is at any celebration (or non-celebration gathering like funerals), graduation, birthday, etc. when you're with family, friends, and church members can cause you to feel "left out of their couple” conversations." 

It's not unusual, as a Christian single woman, to become annoyed with the questions about your marital status.  Here are a few tips to help you:

1-Prepare for the Enemy’s Romantic Love Lie Attack

On certain days such as Valentine’s Day and the Christmas season, the entertainment industry floods us with romantic love stories. They know that during this time people watch these movies and companies buy advertisements to reach the movie watchers. 

The plot of the movie or show is familiar. The heroine walks out of her house or apartment and nearly trips over Mr. Right. He’s bending down to pick up his car keys to his expensive sports car. By the end of the movie, she’s happily married to a man she’s known for less than an hour plus all of their drama is solved within the movie’s time span.

After watching the movie, you have mixed emotions. You enjoyed the movie, but now you’re feeling as if you are the only person on the planet without a mate! You don’t see how you can make it through another day (or at least this holiday season) being single.  If God really cared about you, why hasn’t He sent your Mr. Right?

Sister, even though the attack was subtle and disguised as harmless entertainment, you were still hit by the Enemy’s flaming the Romantic Love Lie. The Romantic Love Lie wants you to think that Infatuation and Lust are the same as Love. The Romantic Lie wants you to think that you're the last person on earth without a mate. The Romantic Love Lie wants you to forget that the movie which is made to bring in advertising dollars and for entertainment is a major production filled with actors, writers, film crew, and other hard-working people. 

2- Launch Your Faith Missile

You’ve walked by faith before and now it’s time to do it again (2 Corinthians 5:7). Recharge your spiritual engine by fueling up with what you know. You’re not just a nameless face in the mass population to God. You are His. He knew you before you were conceived (Jeremiah 1:5). He knows the challenges you have being single. He knows how you long to be married.  He hasn’t forgotten you or your desires. So stop listening to the sad love songs and replace it with upbeat positive music.

3- Prepare for the “When Are You Getting Married?” Question

Someone is going to ask you this question either this season or within the next 6 months! 

Here are a few suggested answers:

Answer- for Christian friends and family:

(in a polite tone) Well, you know God has a season for everything. And as soon as He lets me know, I’ll let you know (change the subject or walk away).

Answer-  for non-Christian friends and family:

(in a polite tone) Marriage is serious business. I would rather not get married than spend the rest of my life miserable because I married the wrong person (change the subject or walk away).

Use the same response above to the comments, “You better not wait too long because you’re not getting younger.” The truth is God does have a season for everything and many people who continuously ask you about marriage are in miserable marriages.

4-Embrace the Spirit of Gratitude-Volunteer

Your desire for a mate shouldn’t cause you to forget about your current blessings.  Nothing can help you embrace the spirit of gratitude quicker than volunteering. How about spreading cheer to residents in the nursing home or patients in the hospital?  Numerous charities could use your help. This season rather than waiting on God to bless you, use what He has given you to be a blessing!
Pray for wisdom in giving an answer that helps you feel comfortable and confident.